Cynicalism

For some reasons, today I've been brought on a journey that time-travels back through the years.

And to most parts, not so much of the past I would choose to want to remember.

I think it has to do with trust.

In cases like these, I find trust a luxury to have.

I know how trust should be built on a foundation of all mankind's relationships. Friendships and relationships alike.

But mankind as it is now, isn't quite trustworthy, is it?

I stubbornly cling to the thoughts that are divided into two.

The part where I knew I should've listened to my heart.

And the other part where I knew I should've listened to the majority, and majority excludes myself.

Could I've been though too much, so much that trust was stripped away from me?

I mean... It was my initial nature that I give unbounded trust to the people who mean to me. It was. No longer.

Hmm... looks like I've turned cynical hmm?

Blog Catch Up

Hello blog.

I know. I've abandoned you to the back of my mind.

Readjusted my priorities and left you to dust.

I can't say I've missed you. For some reasons, I've learnt to express shorter brags on fb, hence the lack of words to talk to you about.

-_-

Btw, happy new year blog!

You've been kind to me throughout the past year.

And I've confided in you. Flooded you with miniscule thoughts.

We've sailed through 2010 together, and still came through alive!

You're still an active account, and I'm still not emotionally-dead!

And that - blog, is worth a toast! Cheers to 2010, and hello 2011!

Simplest Aspiration

In the midst of all pursuit, I wanted to see if those very eyes could see past outer beauty for what they are inside.

I was wrong.

And then I knew we failed the test. That we both contributed to the failure.

That if I could make all that difference, I would.

That if I could be a better person, I would.

But before all that, I'd have to first be myself. To know who I really am.

And then... to trust myself. To love myself. To have faith in myself.

And then I can set out to charge again.

Not Necessarily The Right State Of Mind

1.30am and I'm still wide awake.

I've got a dead tired body, dead tired brain, but here I am... wide awake.

I guess my insomnia is back for good.

You know... I haven't been fairing well in a lot of things in my life lately.

Every aspect of it seems to have gotten increasingly demanding.

Every aspect of it seems to increasingly require more of my attention and focus, require more of my time, require more of my energy.

And all I have to offer is a malfunctioning brain, a worn out heart, and a knocked out body.

I kinda feel I sort of had enough.

Maybe I'm just not fit for this kinda living.

Or maybe, just maybe, I've always been pampered and I'm proving myself to be incapable.

I'd even wondered if it's some sort of depression symptom seeping into me.

One wonders if that's even possible - for a young gal this age to have depression.

To so cynically finds life hopeless.

This so called persistent negativity - this isn't really me.

Or have I changed?

I don't know exactly, I can't tell.

All I know, is that I think I need some serious overhaul.

And that means, away from everything I have now.

Get Your Feet Measured!

Oooh... guess what I found.

Here's a quick guide to know your shoe size once and for all.

Get a piece of A4 paper and draw a mark to indicate length between toe and heel.

Measure that length in cm and refer to the chart above.

And voila! Simple eh?

The Thing About Gatherings

At this age, everything about gatherings are good.

The part where you meet family and friends and reconnect, 'cos you've been away from home too long.

The part where there are lots of good homecook dishes.

The part where you catch up on updates and newest gossips.

The only part where it's not good, is the dreadful question that you unavoidably have to answer.

'Cos there's always who who and whose daughter, whose son who's getting married soon.

And then goes, "When's your turn?"

Seriously.

Don't people have different questions to ask by now?

I mean, I'll tell you when the time comes, not to worry, just stop repeatedly asking me the same question each and everytime you see me lorrrr.....

Question-er not bored, answer-er also bored.

Seriously.

两颗心的距离

好像好久都没发出内心的点点滴滴了。

不懂为什么，今天突然想起一句话，也深深的感触与体会到话中的意思。

两个人，如果离得在远，可是心却靠得很近，那距离就不成为距离。

相反的，如果两个人，住在同一间家，睡在同一张床，可是心却孤单的，那在亲密也是一种距离。