Malfunctioning Brain Leading To Delayed Responses

The title speaks for itself.

But then again, it isn't just recently. So to put things into perspective, I must've always had a malfunctioning brain since I was born. Grr.

I wish I was smart & fast enough to actually respond tactfully according to audience at a given time.

How I envy lawyers! No idea how they state their case so liberally almost instantly under such pressured circumstances in courts packed of crowds. And rowdy crowds at most times.

Sometimes I would only think of the proper things to respond to, in delayed response time frames ranging from 10mins to err, like 3 days later. Seriously. I have a handful of experiences like those.

I call it lack of defense.

If someone were to haul some sarcastic remarks at me, I swear I would only have thought of the right defense 3 days later. And I'd spent the day thinking to myself 'how stupid could I have been for not thinking of what I should supposedly say at that point of time'.

People take advantage of you for this, you know. Fail max. Sigh.

The Question You Ought To Ask

This is getting consistent... blogging entries 2 days in a row... Hmm...

Have been trying to do some self discovery of late and toggled with a few thoughts that led me to thinking how un-ambitious I've always been.

Strike that off.

In fact, I haven't always known what was it that I liked doing, unless you're talking bout just shopping for fun without worrying bout credit. Now, that, is stating the apparent obvious.

But other than that, I don't quite know where my passion lies.

Disaster eh?

Know why this has come up? Coz I've been questioning my own existence in things I do/have.

At work. If I've been of any value in the years building up to today. Rather, was I just easily contented knowing things will sort themselves out. People, generally, see this as a lazy thought.

And embarrassingly, I'm starting to see that point. I must've been stuck in comfort zone for a while now.

At home. Other than the occasional readings and surfings and games, what else do I really do. As in REALLY do. None of those contributes to any of my knowledge gaining, or self building, or mind strengthening... you get the idea.

With family. Knowing I have a family who loves me is comforting. But knowing in time to come when support is needed and I can only contribute this much, is not something I take pride in. I wish I could be better, and I wish I was smarter.

With friends. With age, you'd eventually find a group of people you'd call friends for life. Quantity isn't the significance, quality is. I want to be able to have more time to reach out to these people and make it a point to stay in touch.

With the other half. The biggest portion of transformation could possibly be influenced from this segment of my life. Undeniably there should be credits going to him. I ain't necessarily the perfect match, my explosive ego isn't always necessarily easy to deal with. And I have this tinge of sensitivity that isn't necessarily easy to handle. There's this never-ending strike of balance I'll always have to learn, and I am still learning.

My oh my, it's 7.37pm and there's a continuous deafening thunderstorm out there.

Thank god I'm home and ain't on the way back. I'd be soaked & drenched wet, even with a mighty umbrella.

Going to stop right here and catch up some other time.

Of Hoi Gong Mm Gao Dai Kat

A new blog template for a new bunny year. And the template doesn't even have anything bunny to start with -__-

It's chor 6 today, and there's no remaining CNY mood watsoever to dwell in.

Work has started yesterday for me, and to almost immediately kick-start my 'hoi gong dai kat' day, received news about my rating which really sucked. That - for so much time, effort spent and not forgetting, the relentless battle with the NATO colleagues.

It's almost as if I was given a sign that this is not the place to be anymore.

I wish I had a more generous heart to actually say 'I understand', but I guess there comes a falling edge to almost anything that happens in life.

Well, for the upside of those, I had always needed answers, and I think I had found them now.

And for all of you out there, here's wishing you a good bunny year ahead!

I'm hoping mine will be good too *fingers crossed*