Been MIA

Sorry peeps.

I know I've been MIA for a looong while.

Promise I'll write something about my trip. I've had scattered thoughts on what to write about 'em.

It's just that I haven't had a free weekend/weeknite to literally cross my leg in front of my pc ever since.

And when I do, Cafe World is my priority. -_-

I know, my life's just pathetic like that.

Work's been piling. Office has been a mess ever since I returned. So much so, that I wish I could just disappear for once and not have to worry about work & its consequences.

Sometimes it's just pointless that you're granted an approval to take off from work.

Returning after your holiday is just equivalent to replacing all your off days' work in one go.

Worst. And you always ended up regretting that you had to take off for that long.

It makes you wonder if that break, in which you deserved and is entitled to, is all that justifiable after all.

Well, I'll collect my scattered thoughts from my trip and blog when I could.

Until then, good night everyone.

And oh yea, I'm hoping Mr. Paul The Octopus is going to be wrong about Spain taking on the World Cup title tonite in the finals. -_-

I'm going to get back to work (on a pathetic Sunday midnight) and see if I could catch the finals tonight.

"So wave your flag" everyone!

My PC's Series of Allergics

Last day of May! Urgh. How time passed.

Let me tell you why I haven't been updating my blog.

I think my PC is allergic to my apartment or something.

Remember last year when the hard disk crashed and kaput-ed on me? With all the contents un-retrieved? That was Allergy No. 1.

Allergy No. 2 started this year. It was only 1 or 2 months ago that my LCD screen had a prominent blue vertical line across the screen. I don't know how it started. It just appeared suddenly. Like magic - the way Harry Potter worked some chanting mantra, waved his wand, and 'dang' the blue line just appeared. And it never went away. Some dead cells on the screen. Can't be cured. (Not unless I entirely change a new LCD, that is). As annoying as it was when it first happened, I sort of lived with it. And I'm somewhat fine with that bright blue line there when I'm browsing the web, watching movies and sorts.

I think there must have been some Lord Voldemort in the Land of Technology or something, must have been amazed at the sorts of patience I had, mending through series of allergics on my PCs. So, as dissatisfied as he is for not gaining victory in crushing my PC, he has to now send someone to destroy my motherboard this time around. Crap. Bloody crap. My windows just kept on restarting by itself. Like, you know, ahem, magic. Allergic No. 3.

I don't know. I must have been the worst user PCs have ever lived with. Or it's just pure bad luck. Or... or, wrathful Lord Voldemort really does exist, somewhere, in the Land of Technology.

-_-

Darn.

The Almighty Ash Cloud!

Ok. Here's the thing.

You know about that recent ash cloud affecting airspace and disrupted all air traffic, that comes from the unpronounceable volcano in Iceland? ( Ok, I checked, it's called "Eyjafjallajökull". Don't ask me how to pronounce, I dunno... -_-" ).

Here we are, thinking how 'fortunate' we are not to have been affected since we were not the ones stranded in some airports for days, with no proper beds, washrooms and comfort to make do with.

I'm telling you now. We ARE affected okay!

Why, you ask?

'Coz I was over at a japanese restaurant for lunch today, and we scrolled through the yummy pictures of all the sashimis and sushis (our favourite, of coz, was salmon). And then.... sigh... the horrible news came... Every dish related to salmons were not available! So disappointing.... NO SALMONS!! Not having salmons in japanese restaurants is like, practically not having a ball on a football field in a football match! And you can't play without the bloody ball! (Okay, maybe I exaggerated, you can still eat stuffs like unagi, hotate, idako, and loads more)... but hey, salmons are essential too okay!

So anyway, we had our disappointing lunch, and went to pay at the counter, where we couldn't resist asking 'So what happened to all the salmons?'.

The guy over at the counter said "Ash cloud".

We were like "What?? U think we stupid ah? To fly from Japan to Malaysia, where got impacted by ash cloud wan?"

Guy said, "From Norway! Not Japan!"

So yeah, now we know we're also victims to the ash cloud! :((

Hello, Hello....

Hello April, and hello everyone!

I know I'm guilty of charge! Been MIA (missing in action) from my blog for a very very long time (for my standards) haha...

It's been long enough for me to kinda forget my login password to blogspot. Lol. I had to re-try a few times lor....

To start off, April has been pretty good to me (aside from the workload & bitches at work in the office... pardon my language... I seriously need an outlet... ah well, dramatic office politics... never-ending, don't they?), and apparently has been really good for the people around me too! That's good news, eh?

Whoever said rats don't fair well this tiger year? I hope we fair tremendously well for the rest of the year! (Okay, I know I know.. it's only April... too soon to tell & forecast for the rest of the year, haha). Things are finally looking like they're all starting to fall into the right places. And I'm feeling a lot of those happy vibes. Looking forward to more happy news to come! =)

Yup, I think I'm ready to face the world! Here I come... haha

Snapshots from CNY...

Finally. Haven't been trying my hands on Photoscape until now.

Did some testings from the recent CNY snapshots.

Gonna be showing you a little (very very little) of how CNY was for me this year. = )

Decos + more food...

Reunion dinner mum prepared for us...

Ok lah, super short post. Haha.

Back to work today from the long holidays. Don't ask. Not a very fulfilling day.

WTF

I'm so damn pissed and sick of KL's public transport system.

Like how many times it has to breakdown in a month?!

2, maybe 3. At least.

That's like bloody 24 to 36 times of breaking down in a year on average!

Isn't there supposed to be enough justification to get proper maintenance done already?

And for god's sake, it has to always decide to breakdown at the wrongest time.

Like this month to speak, the two times that it broke down happened to be,

a) When it's peak hours in the morning where everyone needs to commute to work.

And I'm supposed to be attending training. No prizes for who guessed it right, I was late!

b) When I'm drop-dead tired, almost on the verge of falling sick, late at night!

Aren't all these things supposed to be convenient and safe for the people to ride on?

What are we people supposed to do?!

We're only left with two choices. It's either,

a) We drive a car to get around KL, and we get stuck in unnecessary jams until we go crazy and pull all our hair out, until we go botak.

b) We take the trains, and expect it to breakdown every now and then as they please to. And then we're late for whatever meetings, appointments, whatsoever.

Either way, we're just screwed!

If I'm in an emergency and dying, and needed to rely on their efficiency to save my life, I'd rather die sooner in peace, rather than torture myself on my way to the hospital. That's if I ever reach there in time before I die.

Bengang giler!!

Unwrapped, Finally..

I've had this for months now. It's been sitting on my shelf, and somehow, I never got to unpacking and toggling around with it until a couple of days ago. It's just gotten its official first battery charge in fact.

I guess life has a funny way of unfolding events.

I had not really talked about how this was my birthday gift earlier in August. Or how a thorough surprise's been planned for me to come home to a bouquet of pink roses in waiting that very day. Or how my birthday cakes this year were few little cute cupcakes from Delectable's. Or how I'd spent my birthday dinner over at Lookout Point, Ampang - a very simple dinner overlooking a spectacular night scene of the city.

I've talked about none of those. Partly because I thought it'd be effortlessly painful just to ransack that piece of memory, let alone talk about it. The months are passing by pretty quickly, and I think I've come around to my senses of making peace with my past. At least for now.

I wish now I have photos to show & capture those very moments. Unfortunately though, my PC's crashed before I've had a chance to have them uploaded here on this blog. Photos, videos, archives - gone, without a trace. So I guess my best bet would be to keep them all in here (*pats chest where heart is*) and here (*points at head to where the brain is*).

So yes, life's just funny that way. Life is, fate is.

But if it's not too late, and if you're reading this, though I doubt you are (and you know who you are), thank you for all the wonderful birthdays you've shared and spent with me, throughout the years.

Confessions Of An, Err.. "Almost" Shopaholic

It was the most fulfilling retail therapy in a very long time! *wide grin*
Talk about satisfaction. Haha.
In all seriousness, I know that this much ecstasy is only temporary. And it will wear off when the monthly card statement comes. *cold sweat*

Nevertheless, I hereby confess, that whatever you do, and whatever it is, I'm so very convinced that money don't buy happiness. That's the golden rule, and it applies to everything in life. Yes, everything. It buys you pleasure, but it doesn't buy you happiness, for real.

Taking shopping as an example (I wanted to share a more serious tone of real-life examples I have in mind, but let's not bore you too much), you spend that much money to err... obtain/achieve that much satisfaction. It probably is a fair and worthwhile exchange for that very moment. But no, it doesn't heal that gap/hole inside you and make you complete.

So I wanna quote, and re-quote the very simple rule of all.
That the most important and expensive things in life, can't be bought with money.

Dreading Tomorrow

Tomorrow don't wanna go work, can or not?!

So sad lah, have to return to work. I don't feel like I've had enough rest.
The thought of returning to a pile of unfinished workload which is of almost 2 weeks old - Depressing!! I can almost feel the stress already. Sigh.

I've officially donated over xxx to Uncle Lim over the weekend.
In return of my generous donation, I get a lung full of smoke from inhaling second hand cigarette from the smokers. Hair still smells of smoke after effortful shampoo washes.

Can't wait for my next holiday!! *Pray hard*

Staycation Day 5 : Of Reminiscence

Thank God for the friends whom I could count on.
For if it wasn't for them, I would've been hanging and clinging by the moment.
The gap of hole deep down hasn't really gotten much better.
Every little step I take ahead, feels like lifting a big rock off the pathway.
Some days I manage, and some days I don't.
Feeling sane could be a rarity these days.
I'm praying for more courage and clarity each and everyday as I go.
And I'm praying, that I do not lose my way, nor get carried away and lose my values along the way.
Two full months hasn't since felt like forever, yet so much has changed.
If you were to draw the exaggeration of these twist of events on a chart, it would've been a hyperbole in my 25 years of life.
Staying strong is one thing. Being able to distinguish from right to wrong, facts to emotions, truth to lies, is another.
Denial could be a lot easier to deal with. The hardest part is to take the blow, as it is.
If this was a test, it's definitely much tougher than any of the finance final papers I've sat for back in uni days. And back then I thought failing the paper was doom's day. Those fade in comparison now, they seem miniscule and no where near comparison.
I wasn't joking when I said I had very thin hope of what lies in the future. It certainly did feels so. Every bit as grey as it sounds.
The art of life is so full of vague vulnerabilities. Play it like a game, with all the preparation installed, and you still don't get to choose who wins the game, or who plays a good game at the end of it.

Funny lor...

Can I tell you something ridiculously funny?

You know, I'm on leave tomorrow. Like the most long-awaited leave ever.
And I can finally have a weekday - a week working day - that I could stay awake 'til late wee hours without worrying I'll be tired and fishing in the office tomorrow. I don't have to ring my alarm at 6:45am. I don't have to drag my butt off the bed with half eyes closed. Isn't that supposed to be the best weekday to look forward to, ever?

But you know what?

I.Have.To.Feel.God.Damn.Sleepy.Now.
Yes. NOW. It's only like 10:15pm!
I don't even go to sleep this early on my working days ok!

Sigh... wasted!

Reflections Through The Screen

This came in for me from a good friend today. She's just heard about my recent breakup, and texted in to see if I was okay. Upon a few exchanges of smses, she wrote,

"Babe, one thing I've learned, we can't give up on anything. Be it work or personal, task or turmoil; when we get tired - which you are allowed to, by the way, one takes rest & carry on the effort. Nothing in life is easy. Remember if it is, then it's not heartfelt. Easy come, easy go! 6 years is surely a wonderful, beautiful phase of your prime youth that you've shared with him. So often we look at the good things, and continue to grunt about the not-so-good things. But it's the trying times that I believe makes a bond stronger. When it comes to affairs of the heart, no one's words is a comfort, no advice heals, nothing makes it better... That's just the brutal truth. So babe, you shut all those external voice and listen to the still voice from your heart. Right now, you are hurting and the thought in your mind could bounce against the voice from your heart... So for now, allow yourself to the pain. Once you've passed that, through all serenity, that silent still voice from within will deafen all logic & rationale. You are not being negative, only you know how your bond was & still probably is... He must be in your shoes too. Give it some time & say a prayer everyday for clarity of thought. Follow your heart, and most importantly, believe in it!"

As I teared reading these reflections through my handphone screen, I took her words to heart. Because no one could qualify to know life better than she did, after all the hardships she's gone through, and still empowered herself with such strength and clarity in mind. I knew she was right to have seen these through me. I finally came to understand, in a very simple context, and in a very uncomplicated manner, that it's okay to be tired. It is not a weakness, nor a sin to be tired. Because no one has ever promised that life's gonna be easy.

I wanted to script this down, so that I'll always remember the wisdom behind these words.
And I hope too, in it, I'll find solace & strength.

Drilling Thoughts

Apologise for being idly in the recent weeks on this space.
The only time you see me blog an entry, it would consists only of minimal words and of food pictures. I wish I had more time to spare for myself and for me to blog. Mind you, I still have plenty of food entries' photos to post on, they're all now sitting all over on different laptops & pen drives. Blame my unreliable hard disk. It's only more than a year old, and it so conveniently crashed on me. I plan to get myself a new one - wait... soon... (Please be patient with me while I try to organize and post these photos) =).

Work's been pretty frustrating lately. It's not the job... it's the people.
True enough that MNCs like these usually spend tons of money to get employee engagement right. A lot of the people dimension and aspects being focused on. But what are all those without the ppl themselves wanting to reflect themselves in the mirror, wanting to change? A true leader with good leadership qualities is someone who can manage different characters, they say. If that's so, I know I can't be a good leader. I don't change myself just to fit into a political circle. It shows on my face if I don't like someone, or when I'm angry. I don't excel in faking, or drama for that matter. It's not arrogance, it's being true to myself, and to the ppl around me. At least I don't become the best-est buddy in your whole world and go around poking your back like the most devilish enemy. At least, I don't pat your fur or worship you like you're never wrong, and then turn around and point my fingers at you. And that, is what I believe in. Being true to what I think, what I feel, and what I should do. And I think I have my personal rights to feel annoyed when I'm being annoyed. Why like have to pretend to be nice in such circumstances lah? Don't get it... Ppl just like harping on the most pettiest and minusculest issue. And does that get you anywhere better in work productivity and efficiency? No, not really. So what's the point? The point, apparently, to those ppl, is to waste some time, and at the same time create and enhance their visibility. See. How smart. Again, very political.

I wish everyday is a weekend. Or a public holiday.
At least even staying home boring-ly without nothing better to do is still far better than getting drowned in the political environment. It's just mind-exhausting.
I'm setting myself a target. I hope in time to come, my occupation reads : Self-employed. Business/working hours : Anytime I want/like.
Yea, I should buy more lotteries and visit Uncle Lim more.

Hard Disk Gone Liao...

My very kesian dissected PC.

(*Spot : no hard disk)

Sigh... It's official. I have to get myself a new hard disk. Another few hundreds to spend - all for a quite-brand-new-hard-disk-that-crashed. If only Uncle Lim donated some money to me over the weekend...

Post Merdeka Day

In the wee hours of 30th August, I conquered Broga Hill (yea la... I know... 'conquered' is not so much of a justifiable word in this case, if you compare with the likes of Mt KK or Mt Everest, so to speak).

But well... I woke up like 3.30am in the morning, had breakfast, and started our journey to Semenyih, and started our hike at like, 5+am! In the dark, okay. Without knowing what we were stepping on okay. (And ignoring the fact that it was the seventh month of chinese calendar, okay). Oh, Oh! And we so bercita-cita tinggi some more ... we didn't stop at the 1st peak... and no, not the 2nd peak neither, we went all the way to the 3rd peak okay! All that for the sake of watching a sunrise. So yeah... I super CONQUERED Broga Hill, okay! Convinced or not now? Haha. Let me show you some pics...

Time check : 6.22am - we were halfway up. I was err... already catching my breath. (Yea yea, laugh all you want). Haha.

enter

Time check : 7.17am. Unfortunately, this was as good as we could catch a glimpse of.

Cloud was pretty heavy that morning, signalling a heavy rainfall to follow.

We actually saw lightnings already on our way to Semenyih that morning, and we were quite lucky to have sensed the damp atmosphere, so we headed down to the foot of the hill just in time before the downpour started.

enter

You see those tiny spots of ppl standing on top of the big rock? That was where we were at the peak.

enter Bird's eye view from where we were, overlooking another peak of the hill.
Yeah.. It was a long weekend, there were more crowd that it usually attracts.
enter

A closer look of the crowd. Crowd was lessening already by then - strong winds and signs of drizzle.

enter

enter

Headed downhill, went for breakfast (again). And......... went karaoke - with our muddy & sweaty attire (cheap mah, early morning, LOL).

enter

That night was Merdeka countdown celebration. Guess where I spent my merdeka eve at?

G-e-n-t-i-n-g. Yup. For fireworks - crowd was crazy. Very much crazier than the usual sardine-packed monorail on peak hours. No pictures to show (no space for hands to take photos also by the way). We're just so patriotic, aren't we?

In A Crowded State Of Mind

Self-explanatory.
I'm in a crowded state of mind.

There are 3 things I need to learn.

1. How to de-stress (something that does not involve spending too much money, whether in cash or credit a.k.a 'wonder card', ie. in the form of retail therapy).

2. How to do some soul-searching (without having to spend too much on travelling else where to find some peace at heart).

3. How to trust myself and my own judgments (There were many conflicts that revolve around my own values, my beliefs, my principals, and the likes of others. And many a times, I underweighed mine more than I should, and overweighed others' more than I should too).

What a tough, tough life. It must be tough hitting mid-life crisis. I would have a depression of some sort, I think. What's it like to be trouble-free, I wonder. Do monks and nuns really really feel peaceful, I wonder. When they say release the burden and find peace at heart and reach nirvana (correct ah?), are they doing that by running away from the real world problem, and live in a segmented world where it's imagined and assumed to be trouble-free, I wonder. Don't know lah... so confusing.

Gadget-Dependent Me

I think my home PC's hard disk crashed! :((
It's not officially certified 'dead' yet.. let's all just hope & pray for me that it's only throwing tantrum & misbehaving for a night, ok?

I had a lot of things throwing tantrum on me yesterday. Honestly. It's either, a totally wrong/bad day for me... or I'm just super jinx-ed with electronics.

All in all, it got me thinking about how youth like us are so heavily dependant on gadgets (in this so called tech-savvy-era).

Let me throw you a question.
If you lost all your contacts in your mobile phone, would you...
(a) feel insecure (eg. "Shit! How now? How to call my friends, I'll lose all my friends!")
(b) feel useless (eg. "How? How? I can't even remember my own house phone no.!")
(c) feel old (eg. "I can memorise all the numbers and dial them instantly on my finger tips during school days. Why can't I recall any now??!)

Don't kid yourself. If you answer any of the options above, face it. You're gadget-dependent too!

Last night, my phone blacked-out on me for 2 hours while I was out alone. That's 2 hours (only), but it felt like eternity. I never felt so handicapped in a very long time. To say that I have some loose change & some coins in my pocket to go to a public phone and dial, yet, I crammed my head trying to recall what was the number that I'd wanted to dial. Pathetic, I know. And I relied so much on my mobile that I was so used to checking time & calendars with it, checking my reminders of to-do list with it, to an extent of calculating discount prices while doing my shopping with it!

See how much I'm dependant on it? (I have got to learn to rely less of it! Starting from like... now!)

Mini Weekend Getaway

Guess where was I last weekend?

Deng deng deng....

Yup! I was in Ion Mall, the most-hyped-&-talked-about-new-mall-in-town. (Singapore's town, that is).

Nice architecture, eh? Pretty modern and contemporary at the same time. Clean curves.

Was in a rush, so didn't had much time to check out most of the stores. But one thing for sure, it was so bloody CROWDED! Even the food court looked like a can of packed sardines!

Head down if you're anywhere near Orchard. I'll get my dose of shopping spree there the next time round, perhaps. (As long as the currency's exchange rate don't continue to hike!)

Revisiting My MBTI

I'm pretty sure you've more or less heard of MBTI.

If you've not, then click here to know, and click here to test out for yourself!

(For all you know, you were probably hired during your interview based on your MBTI).

How crucial it is? I think a great leader of a team will probably put the results to good use!

I revisited my MBTI today. (Was advised to do so, you know, just in case I've changed over the years.... ).

As it turns out, I'm still the same 'ol me. I scored the same 'ol ISFJ.

So what exactly does it mean?

A few highlights to it :

• It is in my nature to assume responsibility.
• I'm a person somewhat reserved, after prolonged socializing, I feel the need to get away and be alone.
• I easily see the general principles behing specific occurences.
• I get bored if I have to read theoretical books.
• I tend to rely on experiences rather than on theoretical alternatives.
• I take pleasure in putting things in order.
• I usually place myself nearer to the side than in the center of the room.
• I'm strongly touched by the stories about peoples' troubles.
• I feel more comfortable sticking to conventional ways.
• I get pleasure from solitary walks.

Yea.. well.. confirmed lah. I am indeed a true introvert. For as long as I can remember, I was one, I still am one, and I think I'll continue to be one...

This Year, I'm Keeping It Simple

I know it's not here yet. But I'd like to claim my deserved wishes.
If I'd get 3 wishes, then I'd be noble. And I'd wish for all the goodness for everyone throughout the world. But if I'd get only 1 wish, then I'd be keeping it all for myself. Times are bad. You gotta be economical. You gotta make profit out of the slightest and tiniest investment. And to a certain extent, you gotta prioritise yourself, even if it means being selfish. Small little things. Even when it comes to small simple things like making birthday wishes.

People say as you get older, you tend to keep it simpler. I don't think I've ever really utilised my birthday wishes for all these recent years. (I hope I can still claim those - is it too late?).
This year, I want one thing and only one thing. That is, to be happy. I know I've only lived for as long as a quarter of a century. But I've lived long enough to know that being happy is not something you can buy with lots of money (not that I do), it's not something you can fake & hypnotized yourself with, nor is it something you can measure by counts in possessions.

So Genie & your trusted bottle, if you do exist, could you please grant me this wish??