Passion

Yesterday, I had a fair chance of having a chat with my reporting director, who's by the way a great leader by the lengths of the achievements I've heard thus far. I've just never met her in person in my short tenure with the current role that I'm in, despite the numerous times of hearing her speak over team meetings through countless conference calls. So it's a little awkward given the thought that I'll be in a one-to-one session with a total stranger, and it was meant to be an informal 'chat'. But it all turned out real well. She's a superbly friendly and nice person to speak to, and she's not all about work. And I like that. Leaders who are not just all-work and no-play, are pretty people-oriented leaders. : )

Some where along the conversation, she actually got me thinking of a word. The word that stood out to me was passion. Yes, passion.

Now, I'm pretty sure when I was younger, I'd had ten times more passion towards life and towards the things I did than I have now. It's a rather cynical view to have, isn't it? I know. So what did I do about it after the call? I dived into my innermost thoughts (and judgmental emotions) to pin point what do I really have passion in. And you know what sprang into mind almost instantly? The word shopping. Haha. I have passion for shopping??! That's my passion?! Pathetic, I tell you. So I shrugged it off with a laugh and started the whole deep-in-thoughts process again to search for the right answer. [For the record, shopping does count as a passion. It's just never as healthy to the wallet. : ) ]

And there was never a right answer. There were actually.... a few of the right answers. Haha. And they go like this..

1. I thought if I've got passion for music, in music, towards music. And I think I do. If I could've learned more instruments, I would. If I've had the time to compose and write songs, I think I would too. If I were at the karaoke, I would've enjoyed singing too. I guess I just don't make a good musician as a career. It'd be awful if you see me, in a black tux suit, conducting an orchestra - can't imagine. I'd probably get thrown rotten eggs. Haha.

2. Teaching? Yea, I think I can teach. Probably kids, kindergarten? I'd probably find them cute and adorable, so it doesn't 'feel' like you're teaching anyway. But you know how kids are these days, right? They grow & learn faster than their age. What if I get questions like, "Teacher, what is sex? I overheard my parents talking bout it". What am I supposed to answer then? In this case then, again, I don't think I cut out to be a very tactful teacher.

3. What about travelling? Sure, I think I would've loved it if I can just travel and see the world with no worries. But that would require more financial dependence than you think you can afford. Become a tour guide then? But I wasn't really that good in history back in school, and plus, I'm bad in memorising things. Die... cannot also.

4. Designing? Not the fashion design, designing, but the architectural design, designing. Thought about it. Several times. Hmm... I don't know. Am I really that interested and good at it? Designs are rather subjective, abstract, perceptive things. And I never did score in my art back in schooling days either. I'd like to try out for fun, but not at the expense of earning none to survive with. So again, vague.

So how lah? Passion in thoughts, but not in action. Haha.
All I can say, is that I really lack passion in what I'm doing now. That's a recipe to fail & recipe for disaster. But all that said, I'm keeping all these KIV and calling it a day for now. Will be back for more posts soon. Have a great evening!