I feel... afraid.
I can't seem to get flashes of events out of my head.
My conscience is always split into two.
One, to close the chapter. Two, to not give up just yet.
I wish I'm stronger.
I kickstarted every morning with rude awakening from cold hard dreams, followed by lying awake on my bed trying to take in the reality, and then with lots of thoughts flooding my mind.
At times, I just feel the need to question, why did he give up on us. I know it's no longer a valid question. And it certainly did me no good by wanting answers.
I dread going out there to face my daily routines. I'm tempted to go back to how things were before it happened. I don't know how to detach.
I feel alone.
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