Re-defining Definitions

At some point of time, I felt like I was living life out of a drama series.
For the longest time, I thought I was playing the lead actress. I was.
Only apart from the usual drama story plots, this one had no happy ending. It was not a fairy tale.
Commercial media doesn't teach you much, on how things are like when there are no happy endings.
They teach you how to love, and they teach you how to stay hopeful.
But what they don't teach, is how you stay strong when your hopes fall apart.
There are bound to be times, when you feel, if anyone else could do it, so could you.
There are also bound to be times, when you feel, out of place, away from the outside world.
I finally come to understand, why was it that in dramas, a person can go to great lengths when the person they care about fail to return their love.
Why was it that they could do all evil, just to keep a person close by.
I used to think it was all exaggerated.
Now I know. It was simply because that person was all their hopes. Those story plots were real, the exaggeration of it was real. It is indeed very painful when you lose your hopes.
I thought that when I gave all to make something work, it would.
I thought that when I don't give up, it would pay off.
I thought that when I did the best I could within my means, it would be appreciated.
I wanted to believe that everything happening in this world is just and fair.
Wasn't that supposed to be the law of nature?
The dramas don't teach you what happens when the law of nature doesn't work for you.
Little did I know, love rarely is just and fair.
I felt like I'm back to being a little girl. Seeing and learning the world from scratch.
Because I'd always thought I knew enough. But it turns out everything I ever knew and believed in did not really exist.
Perhaps, the underlying message in the dramas was, happy endings are defined by you.
The dramas define happy endings as all things karma-ed beautifully and accordingly.
That the lead actor and actress always do work out well.
But I should now learn, how to re-define my happy ending.
And maybe, just maybe, I should learn, that he's not my lead actor.