... that I'm not strong enough

I had the most depressing day today.

So depressing that I... actually couldn't hold my tears in the monorail on my way back from work today.

It's odd. And ironic.
I had so much ego in me to much less show any PDA, public display of affection in the public all through the years.
And yet, today, I had to endure not being able to hold back my tears in the public transport.

Do you believe in the domino's effect?
That when one bad thing happens, then the pursuit of all bad things follow?
I had a terrible time at work today. The worst in history, by far. And whatever followed, just made it worse.

I didn't want to be negative. Honestly. In fact, I've been handling perfectly okay these days.
I didn't allow myself choices to revisit any of the memory lanes. Let alone feel sorry for myself.

But do you know what's worse?
Just when I thought, I'm doing better, I realised I'm not.
That when I'm on the verge of breaking down, you had to come into my mind.
And I felt defeated.
Defeated to a point where I feel I'm hopeless without you.
And I felt bad, that I'm not strong enough.