Settling For Less

Tell me if I've been too dismissive.

With every more outings, conversations, talks, I'm increasingly reassured and convinced, that this is harder than I think.

Why has it have to be so hard to find someone whom I can say something to, and not strugglingly explain more, just to desperately have someone understand exactly what I wanted to say, to desperately get my message across?
Have I always been that bad in communication? What was it? The language barrier? The channel breakdown? The different brain wave signals? What?

Is it really going to be this hard? Replacing this role of yours?
Can I settle for less? Should I?

So worn out in faith that I feel I'm stripped off the ability to discover the small little everyday pleasures and delights.

It really does feel like I'm running on auto pilot, day after day.

It must be stress and hormone playing tricks on me. I hope it is. It has got to be.

If what they say is true that time does heal everything, why can't it be any sooner?

Don't you just feel amazed of how you were when you were younger?
As a kid, you ran faster than you should and fell all the time.
But how often do you really remember the pain of falling down? Rarely.
You just cry over it, learn your lessons, stand up, and got over it.
As a kid you do that, all the time.
Why can't I now?