Monday, November 22, 2010

Not Necessarily The Right State Of Mind

1.30am and I'm still wide awake.
I've got a dead tired body, dead tired brain, but here I am... wide awake.
I guess my insomnia is back for good.

You know... I haven't been fairing well in a lot of things in my life lately.
Every aspect of it seems to have gotten increasingly demanding.
Every aspect of it seems to increasingly require more of my attention and focus, require more of my time, require more of my energy.
And all I have to offer is a malfunctioning brain, a worn out heart, and a knocked out body.
I kinda feel I sort of had enough.

Maybe I'm just not fit for this kinda living.
Or maybe, just maybe, I've always been pampered and I'm proving myself to be incapable.
I'd even wondered if it's some sort of depression symptom seeping into me.
One wonders if that's even possible - for a young gal this age to have depression.
To so cynically finds life hopeless.
This so called persistent negativity - this isn't really me.
Or have I changed?

I don't know exactly, I can't tell.
All I know, is that I think I need some serious overhaul.
And that means, away from everything I have now.

No comments:

Post a Comment