Simplest Aspiration

In the midst of all pursuit, I wanted to see if those very eyes could see past outer beauty for what they are inside.

I was wrong.

And then I knew we failed the test. That we both contributed to the failure.

That if I could make all that difference, I would.

That if I could be a better person, I would.

But before all that, I'd have to first be myself. To know who I really am.

And then... to trust myself. To love myself. To have faith in myself.

And then I can set out to charge again.

Not Necessarily The Right State Of Mind

1.30am and I'm still wide awake.

I've got a dead tired body, dead tired brain, but here I am... wide awake.

I guess my insomnia is back for good.

You know... I haven't been fairing well in a lot of things in my life lately.

Every aspect of it seems to have gotten increasingly demanding.

Every aspect of it seems to increasingly require more of my attention and focus, require more of my time, require more of my energy.

And all I have to offer is a malfunctioning brain, a worn out heart, and a knocked out body.

I kinda feel I sort of had enough.

Maybe I'm just not fit for this kinda living.

Or maybe, just maybe, I've always been pampered and I'm proving myself to be incapable.

I'd even wondered if it's some sort of depression symptom seeping into me.

One wonders if that's even possible - for a young gal this age to have depression.

To so cynically finds life hopeless.

This so called persistent negativity - this isn't really me.

Or have I changed?

I don't know exactly, I can't tell.

All I know, is that I think I need some serious overhaul.

And that means, away from everything I have now.

Get Your Feet Measured!

Oooh... guess what I found.

Here's a quick guide to know your shoe size once and for all.

Get a piece of A4 paper and draw a mark to indicate length between toe and heel.

Measure that length in cm and refer to the chart above.

And voila! Simple eh?

The Thing About Gatherings

At this age, everything about gatherings are good.

The part where you meet family and friends and reconnect, 'cos you've been away from home too long.

The part where there are lots of good homecook dishes.

The part where you catch up on updates and newest gossips.

The only part where it's not good, is the dreadful question that you unavoidably have to answer.

'Cos there's always who who and whose daughter, whose son who's getting married soon.

And then goes, "When's your turn?"

Seriously.

Don't people have different questions to ask by now?

I mean, I'll tell you when the time comes, not to worry, just stop repeatedly asking me the same question each and everytime you see me lorrrr.....

Question-er not bored, answer-er also bored.

Seriously.

两颗心的距离

好像好久都没发出内心的点点滴滴了。

不懂为什么，今天突然想起一句话，也深深的感触与体会到话中的意思。

两个人，如果离得在远，可是心却靠得很近，那距离就不成为距离。

相反的，如果两个人，住在同一间家，睡在同一张床，可是心却孤单的，那在亲密也是一种距离。

何润东 [He Run Dong] - 我記得我愛過

This is actually quite a nice song lor... theme song for the drama Summer's Desire, haha

What I Realized Today

Finished watching the drama Summer's Desire today.

Cried buckets for the last few episodes, wat the hell....

Then again, it doesn't just happen with this drama in particular, it happens with all other touching stories - the likes of dramas and movies.

I hope in future my children don't turn out like me. -_-

It's October now, and another 2 months in counting into year 2011.

That's fast. Time's passing real fast.

Before you know it, it's gonna be Christmas, then New Year, and then Chinese New Year.

Looking back the 9 months, I wouldn't have yet found the right word to sum up the year 2010 to date. There's been hectic times, fulfilling times, less-motivating times, fun times, depressing times, agitating times, and a mix of everything. So little yet so much that's been going on that's indescribable, to a point where I think I've given up blogging about them in words.

It's probably obvious since this space has been comparatively dormant anyway.

You know what I've realized today? As much as I could very effortlessly articulate my thoughts in words here on this blog (sometimes), I can't really do so in person.

Such a contrary.

Think I'm probably better off that way, write and not speak, think and not talk.

Borned to work that way -_-

And you know what I also realized today? I could've been much more successful if I hadn't done the things I had done in the recent years.

Reality check.

Talk about failure.

So for the years to come, it's gonna be hardcore redemption (and remediation) period.

Shit.

Life sucks that way!

張靚穎 [Jane Zhang] - 如果這就是愛情

Been too addicted to this song!

Hello everyone!

Decided to "colour" my dormant blog today, hence the pictures. :)

If you've not been to Garden's newly-opened Hokkaido Ichiba, you should give it a try.

Brought to you by the same folks who brought you the likes of Sushi Zanmai, Pasta Zanmai & Shojikiya, Hokkaido Ichiba is catered to the slightly more premium market.

(Which means food could be a little more pricier comparative to the former two).

But there's always a positive side to that - they serve really fresh sashimis & they have additional items sold like sea urchin sashimis! :D

Was there on the first night of its opening and here are some pictures to go :

They have an ice cream corner right beside the main restaurant where they serve a selection of hokkaido ice creams! Didn't get to try this then, but will certainly do soon!

We weren't really big eaters so we had minimum orders that night. Pictures here :

Where it's located :

Hokkaido Ichiba,

T-210, 3rd Floor,

The Gardens, Mid Valley City.

If you know where Sushi Zanmai is on the 3rd floor of Gardens, just walk towards the middle court on the same floor, you'll see Hokkaido Ichiba right at the escalater's end. :)

Q2 Briefly Swaying By...

This year has been the best travelendar (travel + calendar, LOL) I have by far.

There's been a lot of travelling of late.

To UK in June (which I've not blogged about, yet. -_- )

To Singapore in August (Okay, I know, this one doesn't count.. business related. But I met the nicest people there whom I've been working with, known their names all along, but couldn't put faces to their email Ids, talked non business, and made new friends! Finally eh... not too bad at all).

To China in September. I'm leaving in 2 days. :D

I wish there's more to come to keep the hype going! So energetic and excited to think about.

But darn I wish our currencies are as strong as Sterling Pounds or something.

Bank account is bleeding max. Sigh.

So there's that - quarter 2 swaying by at lightning's speed.

Obviously I haven't been updating much.

Just in case you're wondering, I'm not acting busy. I AM busy! :D

Interview With LeeHom on Love In Disguise

Listen to him speak when he's here last weekend :D

Uni Uni Uni

Guess what I discovered on the day of my birthday?

I discovered I'm a year older, and many more older years to come. And that I'm only in my 20s, but it feels as if I'm already in my 30s. All the ladies stuff. Duhh.

Ok. No la... I actually discovered that sea urchin sashimis are quite tasty!

Yes! I tried!

But no... no photos to show you.

So I have to steal a picture I googled randomly to show you how it looks like.

Ta-da! We call them 'Uni'.

Yeap, it looks like that - like tao fu pok cut into slices. Haha.

I'll tell you what was my first reaction seeing the bowl of sashimis.

"Eeeyerrrrrrrr"

Yea, that was my response. That is... until I nom-ed them. Haha.

So there, another milestone in my Jap gastronomical journey.

Next in my must-try-before-I-die Jap delight - Fugu sashimi!

You don't get pufferfish sashimi here, because it's almost lethal if it's not prepared properly, so chefs are licensed to be able to prepare fugu sashimis.

Apparently if a human consumes poison from the deadly pufferfish, he can practically die in 10mins.

-_-

So there, my next wishlist. Haha.

王力宏 [Wang Lee Hom] - 你不知道的事

Lol.

Yet again.

Very nice lor this song... haha

浪花兄弟 - 想你就寫信

Getting hooked on this song lately!

So Very Random

Random post.

Today's one of those days where I feel sorry for my own life.

It's also one of those days where I want to make "Screw kindness, be mean!" my motto for life.

Maybe it's a customary thing. To feel all edgy... and defeated... and un-achieving as you near the end of your prime years. -_- I sound as old as a retired person.

Ok lah, finish ranting.

Bye!

王力宏 [Wang Lee Hom] - 柴米油鹽醬醋茶

Oh yea, it's out! :D

神木與瞳 [Shen Mu Yu Tong] - 好想為你哭

Tell me if this song is as addictive as it is to you, like it is to me.

Nice lor... seriously... "Like"

Been MIA

Sorry peeps.

I know I've been MIA for a looong while.

Promise I'll write something about my trip. I've had scattered thoughts on what to write about 'em.

It's just that I haven't had a free weekend/weeknite to literally cross my leg in front of my pc ever since.

And when I do, Cafe World is my priority. -_-

I know, my life's just pathetic like that.

Work's been piling. Office has been a mess ever since I returned. So much so, that I wish I could just disappear for once and not have to worry about work & its consequences.

Sometimes it's just pointless that you're granted an approval to take off from work.

Returning after your holiday is just equivalent to replacing all your off days' work in one go.

Worst. And you always ended up regretting that you had to take off for that long.

It makes you wonder if that break, in which you deserved and is entitled to, is all that justifiable after all.

Well, I'll collect my scattered thoughts from my trip and blog when I could.

Until then, good night everyone.

And oh yea, I'm hoping Mr. Paul The Octopus is going to be wrong about Spain taking on the World Cup title tonite in the finals. -_-

I'm going to get back to work (on a pathetic Sunday midnight) and see if I could catch the finals tonight.

"So wave your flag" everyone!

My PC's Series of Allergics

Last day of May! Urgh. How time passed.

Let me tell you why I haven't been updating my blog.

I think my PC is allergic to my apartment or something.

Remember last year when the hard disk crashed and kaput-ed on me? With all the contents un-retrieved? That was Allergy No. 1.

Allergy No. 2 started this year. It was only 1 or 2 months ago that my LCD screen had a prominent blue vertical line across the screen. I don't know how it started. It just appeared suddenly. Like magic - the way Harry Potter worked some chanting mantra, waved his wand, and 'dang' the blue line just appeared. And it never went away. Some dead cells on the screen. Can't be cured. (Not unless I entirely change a new LCD, that is). As annoying as it was when it first happened, I sort of lived with it. And I'm somewhat fine with that bright blue line there when I'm browsing the web, watching movies and sorts.

I think there must have been some Lord Voldemort in the Land of Technology or something, must have been amazed at the sorts of patience I had, mending through series of allergics on my PCs. So, as dissatisfied as he is for not gaining victory in crushing my PC, he has to now send someone to destroy my motherboard this time around. Crap. Bloody crap. My windows just kept on restarting by itself. Like, you know, ahem, magic. Allergic No. 3.

I don't know. I must have been the worst user PCs have ever lived with. Or it's just pure bad luck. Or... or, wrathful Lord Voldemort really does exist, somewhere, in the Land of Technology.

-_-

Darn.

鄭秀文 [Sammi Cheng] - 捨不得你

Heard this song over the radio this afternoon.

And it reminded me that I used to play this song over and over again years ago, when it was a hit!

And now.... I'm over-playing it again. Quite addictive. =)

Insomnia.. Again!

Crap. It's almost 2am!

And I'm having insomnia. Again.

Rolled, tossed and turned on the bed for the past 1.5 hours, and I gave up.

Siiiggghhhhhhh...... It must be the umpteenth time. Am I getting old? Is that it?

So you know what I decided to do?

I got up and decided to turn on my pc and... blog. Semangat.

I should make blogging my professional career or something, seriously.

** I hear you, bc. You must be saying 'get an air cond' again. Haha.

Let me tell you what I've been doing while tossing on my bed a while ago.

I was going through some old sms-es in my phone. [Aiyah, I can't just toss and turn and do nothing ma, rite? I'll be bored to death. Imagine headlines : Gal sets world record for tossing on bed for the longest time... and she died of boredom].

Ok lah, I know I'm crapping already. And no, I'm not sleep talking. -_-

Anyway, back to sms-es.

Looking back at the many crossroads and milestones, ahem, I think I felt mixed feelings of where I am today.

I'm emo like that. I still keep some of the old sms-es in my inbox.

They somehow remind me of the encouragements, the thoughtful wishes, the humours, the fights, the jokes, and the many many things that exist throughout the lifetime of my faithful phone.

I don't know if you face the same problem. But whenever my phone runs out of memory, I actually take very, very long just to vet through sms-es in my inbox to decide if I should keep or delete them.

Is that silly or what?

Oh! I know a nicer sounding word to describe that. Sentimental. Hah. Lol.

Wait 'til you see how full my email inbox is. I should really find time to clear my inbox for some space. Tough work.

Okay, I'm yawning! Finally!

Enough of chattering for now. Going to get some sleep. I better sleep. Though I'm almost certain I'll stop yawning by the time I hit the sack. It's bound to happen. Yawn, crawl into bed, un-yawn. If that's even a word. :(

But I better try.

Good night, world.

劉若英 [Rene Liu Ruo Ying] - 我們沒有在一起

Been watching a drama that made me addicted to this song.

Nice hor?

Of Our Revenge With Soya!

Okay. The story goes like this.

Wanted to look for a good light supper in SG, so we thought we should head over to Geylang to try Yong He's famous dou jiang you tiao. So with hopes running high, and a few rounds of going around the many lorongs in Geylang, we found Yong He. Locating Yong He was easy at Geylang. Locating a carpark, on the other hand, was effortful. When we finally found one, some kiasu gal actually stood there, in the middle of the only parking space available, literally stood there, to "reserve" the place for a car that's not there yet. Brr....

So anyway, ended our struggle with a carpark further away from the shop, and we found ourselves seated impatiently waiting for our soyas!

Yong He. Let me tell you why we're so excited and all wanting to try out Yong He.

If you don't already know, Yong He is one very famous place you can have duo jiang you tiao in Taipei.

So we were given the menus.... Food.

More food.

But we decided to go with the basics & the essentials.... (or so we thought). So we went for dou jiang

& you tiao....

But you know how we ended up feeling? Disappointed. One word. Fullstop.

Don't know why we bothered driving all the way to Geylang for this.

I'd rather have went for the tin gai porridge.

So...

With a broken heart, we set out to seek for revenge!

And so we ended, on the same night, at another spot, for dou jiang you tiao. Hah! Take that, Yong He!

Damn tak puas hati. So we had to satisfy that poor crave of ours.

This came to our rescue!

Rochor Original Beancurd! You see... damn packed & crowded the place.

We thought no more seats left and we thought we had to disappointedly leave :(

(p/s : guy in red shirt on the right, that's Sean, our local "tourguide")

But! Turns out they had plenty of tables & chairs in the back alleys behind the shop!

Lucky or what?

So even with a somewhat already soya-filled stomach, we still ordered these.

I like the tau fu far..... Very nice lor. Definitely puas hati this time!

Have to thank Sean for 'recommending' us to this, our saviour to our cravings... haha

Shokudo - Japanese Food Bazaar Concept, SG

It's 1.15am!

My eyes are this (.) close to dozing off. But.. but, I patiently waited for all the below photos to be uploaded for you to feast your eyes. Am I good or wat? Haha. (Actually, it was because I've not been diligently posting any photos here for a while now, so might as well... err, make it colourful).

Okay, here goes. Was in the land/island below one of the recent weekends, and am still recovering from the pain of my purse's injury. Not like GSS is already here, it's just we've been spending so much on yummy-delicious food like these! Sinful!

I'll try posting these places on separate entries (if I continue to be diligent that is, haha).

Here's my first "blood-flowing-from-the-purse" experience from the trip.

Behold...

Shokudo. It's a japanese food bazaar - where they've got similar concepts with Marche, the marketplace. Only with lots and lots of jap food! I like! :D

Okay now, on to the concept :

You walk around, spotting counters and stalls to hunt for your preference.

Stuffs like these....

Or these...

And then you present your card (you'll be given each a card upon entrance)...

To the guy over the counter, they'll swipe your order value, prepare your food... (You'll pay your total swiped upon exit at the counters).

A few random interiors & exteriors :

I was at the one in Heeren. There are quite a number of branches across Sg, you could find out more here on their website.

Random wall deco....

At the check-out counter...

Random umbrella deco hanging over the counter...

Alright, it's time to make you hungry! Nyehehe.

(But before I go on, I have to say, the thing about back-dated food posts, is that you kinda forget what these dishes are called, by the time you blog about them. So please just feast on the photos). We ordered to feed an army!

This one I know... sashimi - we've got a mix of salmon, octopus, yellow-tail, and tuna.

There were a few different combos to mix with, so you could choose according to what your taste buds prefer...

Can't remember what's this called. But that's a fish. And check out the glistening egg-wrapped rice (something like nasi goreng pattaya la...)

Yakitori - we had a stick of beef, and another stick of scallops. (Scallops super nice, I tell you!)

Okonomiyaki - I think we ordered this with Idako & Shitakes. Can't quite remember. But I do remember these are super tasty too! Not like the ones we have back here!

Double-layered chicken burger - from the counter where it sells rice burgers! Don't underestimate them, these are so huge that we had trouble biting that the chef had to cut them into pieces for us.

Macha with lots of azukis at the bottom!

(But a little too milky, I felt it made the green tea bland)

Me like this! Banana milk! And I thought milk ma... but when I opened the lid, got 'pssshhh' sound - carbonated! Special or not? But very nice lor... Don't know if we can find it here - shall hunt for it!

Dessert - obviously the green thing half-falling is the macha ice cream, followed by lots of shaved ice and huge azukis.

Not gonna tell you how much all these costs, 'coz then you'll start converting our ringgit value into SGD and feel the pain to splurge. Haha. But seriously, worth the try... not as expensive as you think. Give it a go the next time you're down south!

The Almighty Ash Cloud!

Ok. Here's the thing.

You know about that recent ash cloud affecting airspace and disrupted all air traffic, that comes from the unpronounceable volcano in Iceland? ( Ok, I checked, it's called "Eyjafjallajökull". Don't ask me how to pronounce, I dunno... -_-" ).

Here we are, thinking how 'fortunate' we are not to have been affected since we were not the ones stranded in some airports for days, with no proper beds, washrooms and comfort to make do with.

I'm telling you now. We ARE affected okay!

Why, you ask?

'Coz I was over at a japanese restaurant for lunch today, and we scrolled through the yummy pictures of all the sashimis and sushis (our favourite, of coz, was salmon). And then.... sigh... the horrible news came... Every dish related to salmons were not available! So disappointing.... NO SALMONS!! Not having salmons in japanese restaurants is like, practically not having a ball on a football field in a football match! And you can't play without the bloody ball! (Okay, maybe I exaggerated, you can still eat stuffs like unagi, hotate, idako, and loads more)... but hey, salmons are essential too okay!

So anyway, we had our disappointing lunch, and went to pay at the counter, where we couldn't resist asking 'So what happened to all the salmons?'.

The guy over at the counter said "Ash cloud".

We were like "What?? U think we stupid ah? To fly from Japan to Malaysia, where got impacted by ash cloud wan?"

Guy said, "From Norway! Not Japan!"

So yeah, now we know we're also victims to the ash cloud! :((

Worst Customer Service Experience

I've had the worst customer service experience today from M**bank.

You've always heard of the hall of fame and hall of shame stories from this bank.

But not until you're pissed to the pit of your boiling stomach that you really want to f*ck them off.

Why? Is it due to the fact that they're monopolizing the financial market locally, so they don't give a shit about their customer experience or reputation?

I swear if I was Iron Man, I would've punched and ripped the whole ATM machine off to retrieve my card!

I can now already foresee the agony I have to go through being pushed calls by calls, counters by counters, branches by branches from the bank just for me to want my card back!

And for all of that, not only do they not have the courtesy to offer empathy and resolve this from their end, but bounced the responsibility back to their customer to do the following ups, even when I pissed-ly demanded that they did.

One thing you shouldn't do when you're servicing your customers is reading off the bloody script.

I wondered if the rep actually understood or bothered understanding what I said.

Would they have done this to me if I was the CEO's daughter? Or maybe the President's daughter?

No.

So this is how they serve their customers.

I heard their Plat card customers are served amazingly.

So that's it.

Selective jugdmental and biased customer servicing.

It's such a shame that they're taking the lead in financial institutions.

I guess they're just comfortable where they are, being the first, and thought they'd be up there forever, without being knocked off their positions.

How disappointing...

Blah Blah Blahs From The Office

I get so easily tired these days.

It must have been the numerous unnecessary stress from the office.

Feels like I'm a few years older in a few months! :(

There comes a point where I just couldn't enjoy my weekend because all I was thinking of was the piling unfinished work.

There also comes a point where I just dread going to the office every single morning.

What's worse is that, I'm so fed up of listening to myself grumble and rattle about stuff at the office that I find myself becoming a nagging grandmother!

It has become so bad, that I wish I had just made a decision then and there, even without the basis of a backup plan.

I know, irrational you'd say...

But heck, I treasure my health and quality of life more than you think I do!

And this whole stress thing is sipping energy out of me every single day of the week.

Just don't know why I'm putting myself through such miserable demotivation that burns through my already unexciting life. -_-"

How pathetic...............

Promising myself I'm not gonna let this whole thing drown my any deeper!

Hello, Hello....

Hello April, and hello everyone!

I know I'm guilty of charge! Been MIA (missing in action) from my blog for a very very long time (for my standards) haha...

It's been long enough for me to kinda forget my login password to blogspot. Lol. I had to re-try a few times lor....

To start off, April has been pretty good to me (aside from the workload & bitches at work in the office... pardon my language... I seriously need an outlet... ah well, dramatic office politics... never-ending, don't they?), and apparently has been really good for the people around me too! That's good news, eh?

Whoever said rats don't fair well this tiger year? I hope we fair tremendously well for the rest of the year! (Okay, I know I know.. it's only April... too soon to tell & forecast for the rest of the year, haha). Things are finally looking like they're all starting to fall into the right places. And I'm feeling a lot of those happy vibes. Looking forward to more happy news to come! =)

Yup, I think I'm ready to face the world! Here I come... haha

Endless Love - Glee Cast Version

One of the many many songs from Glee's version which I'm addicted to now. Seriously.

I think I should sing this on my own wedding day. LOL.

A Little Gal's Naive Fantasy

When I was younger, and when I made myself a TV addict, I had loved dramatic love stories/dramas. The more dramatic, the better. Literally. Minus the ones you find in Korean love dramas, where you end up finding out the guy's the gal's brother of same father, different mother kinda stories. No, not that kinda dramatic. But dramatic to an extent where you'd cry your lungs out and felt so much for the pair of lovers on screen. As if you were living in their shoes.

And I'd often cursed that typical third party character, like the ex-gf, or the potential fiancée/wife-to-be, or the long-term gf who couldn't seem to just understand that their guy is not into them anymore, that they're now in love with the very sweet-genuine-generous-kind hearted main lead gal. There was always a very clear cut/only-black-and-white-no-gray kinda sensibility and rationale in my very naive heart, thinking how love is that pure and all it should matter is I love you & you love me, you have eyes for me & I have eyes for you. I was very young. And third parties were like god-sent witches. Back then I used to so admire the strength and courage of the two main leads to have struggled and fought against all odds to be together. And that the victory would be when the witch finally gave in and gave up on her whatever sorceries to stop them from loving each other, and that they're finally together, and lived happily-ever-after. (It's in italic, because as I grew, I knew it was just an assumption, an impression that was left from the very long exposure towards the perfect-world on screens).

I said I was naive.

Naive, because it is only when I grew up, that I knew this.

It did take a lot of courage and strength to have stood up and fought for the love you know will be returned. Just like the main leads do.

But it took much greater courage and strength, to be the witch, to have fought for the love you know will never be returned. And it took even more generosity, to have finally step down and raise a white flag, just so you could see the one you love happy.

Can I now say, to all witches I'd ever cursed on screens before, I, Honestly, Salute You!

Snippets

I know I haven't written my thoughts for a while.

I have been very detached from my blog for a few reasons.

1. That I thought I should be protective of my personal thoughts and not conveniently expose myself so openly to the public. At least to the netizens' public.

2. That I wanted to be discreet about certain things and me penning down my thoughts would probably deceive just that.

But today, I'm gonna allow myself to do this. Just today.

I consciously have a subconscious thought and imagination of things that brings out the deepest fear in me.

When I did sit down and think quietly to myself, I figured, it's really, simply because, I have a low self esteem. I really do. There are so many things, I thought I deserved, and I thought I had the strength and confidence to motivate myself with, only to know, if it wasn't for the very specific dependency that existed, there really isn't any motivation left of myself.

To the outside world, I know this sounds very vague.

But to my world, I saw many many reflections of this.

I've asked myself, if I really had the courage, if I were to have a go at it myself.

I think I pretty much know the answer that I wouldn't.

Am I very much in my comfort zone?

Sometimes I think I've not fallen hard enough.

Imagine people who, in a very short period of time, lost everything that mattered to them, and came out so much stronger.

I ask myself if I could have that equivalent value of strength.

And I know very distinctively, that I'm weak.

I want to say today, that I felt blessed that when I felt emptiness inside, there's a true friend, who was there, givingly, accompanying me generously, not asked a word of what was wrong, understood and respected the space I needed, but at the same time knew that I needed laughter, and fed me just that. I truly am grateful of friends like these God has blessed my life with. Just what I needed, standing by me.

Hiccups : The Myth Of It

Been hiccuping non-stop for the past half an hour.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I thought I wanted to search up some superstitions/myth or stuffs like that to justify why there's unending hiccuping. Like, I don't know, maybe someone's backstabbing you max or something along the lines. -_-"

And see what I found?

I like the answer.

So yea, no such superstition, okay?
But don't worry, you're still cute if you thought there was a myth behind it. -_-"

What I'm Yearning For..

If I wanted life to be easier for me, am I, by default, a spoilt brat, someone who's not able to go through thick and thin, face challenges?

I think when you reach a point where inspiration becomes scarce, that's when you should throw yourself some changes.

And I'm longing to get some.

Such negativity, creeping in, seeping into, day in day out.

I don't wanna be immuned to negativity, I don't wanna become a programmed human-robot.

There are things I so insanely wish I could pursue.

But there are also things that I so sanely understand needs time.

If there was no everyone, if there was just me, decisions could be so much swifter.

But there was everyone, and I needed everyone to be in an orderly manner, so I can't just abandon.

Am I even asking for too much, if I only wanted things to go my way?

Of All Things Mythical

It's the last day of Feb, and the last day of CNY. What a coincidence.

I stumbled upon this video on youtube.

Do you believe in all things mystical and mythical?

I kind of do... (don't know if it's the effect of spending half my day at the temple today). Haha.

Happy Chap Goh Meh & Chinese Valentine's people!

方炯鑌 [Fang Jiong Bin] - 遺憾

Oh I realised I had wanted to post this video for quite a while now but kept forgetting.

Signs of old age I think. -_-"

Snapshots from CNY...

Finally. Haven't been trying my hands on Photoscape until now.

Did some testings from the recent CNY snapshots.

Gonna be showing you a little (very very little) of how CNY was for me this year. = )

Decos + more food...

Reunion dinner mum prepared for us...

Ok lah, super short post. Haha.

Back to work today from the long holidays. Don't ask. Not a very fulfilling day.

Of Another Real Love

Very cute couple! They've been so long together, 10 years! So touching!
I'm quite sure many people will be sharing this joy and bliss with them. Teehee! =)

Fierce Tigress Power

Fourth day into CNY and I'm already sick.
Hence the title of this post. ><"
I'm hating the hot weather. Seriously.
My childhood rashes revisits me, thanks to the heat the sun's blaring on us.
And 'coz of the very 'hot' rain that showered last nite... I'm catching the fever bug.
Really gong xi fa cai man... Ish.

Apart from that, CNY has been fun.
(Okay, hold on, except for one other fact that I had to answer the same question over and over again : "When's your turn to distribute ang paus??" Beh tahan...)
I'm piling on the kilos.
Non-stop eating. And I really meant non-stop.
For days, the word 'hungry' didn't exist in my dictionary.
It's really time to unwrap my UZap to use.
And it's REALLY time to run the mile.
The question is, where?
Where's safe enough to run in KL, where you don't have to inhale the busy traffic's carbon monoxide, and it's safe/brightly-lit enough to not be robbed/kidnapped/watever? -_-"
Don't ask me to spend money to go join gym's membership. I'll die staring at a piece of glass for every half an hour I run, let alone stay motivated. A park would be good (KLCC park?), a neighbourhood would be good, but no gym, been there, done that, not value for money, no motivation, no thanks.
Yalar I know, I'm fussy. ><"

Kicking Off the Tiger Year

This does feel right. :)
But I shall be sane, and stay focused.
There should be a right time. There will be.

I'm loving the festive mood.
Love that I don't have to think of work.
Love that I get a break away from civilization (the KL rush and all).
Love that I'm back home.
Love that I'm with my family.
Love that I'm gonna be meeting relatives and friends.
Love that there are stories after stories to catch up on.
Love that there will be gatherings after gatherings.
Love that there are lots of yummy food to eat.
Love that I get to wear new clothes (ok, maybe not - I wear new clothes any time of the year)

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!
May the Tiger year brings you lots of joy & laughter, wisdom & health, and yes... may big fat prosperity lands your way!
Have a fun holiday season!

Of Real Love

I've re-watched this video countless times, and it wets my eyes.

It's just touching, and blissful! You could literally see the pure happiness. Such a simple yet celebrated wedding.

Fish Leong and Tony Chao from Mayad Studios on Vimeo.

Overrated

Valentine's can be somewhat overrated sometimes.

I thought if you're happy & in love with that special someone, everyday's supposed to be Valentine's? Not particularly on 14th Feb. Isn't that right?

But yes, marketing as it is, you can't help it. The atmosphere of 'love is in the air' is themed all over the shopping malls (not so much this year, thanks to CNY! I love you CNY!)

So as I was walking around the mall yesterday, I came across this back to basic definitions that read :

Companion : Walks with me through experiences of life, sees the world through the same eyes.

Soul mates : I love you for not only what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you.

Lover : Weak in the knees when you walk into the room.

I was pondering last night and realised, yeah... sometimes we're rigid looking at the pre-qualifications, pre-requiremens, conditions to determine a right one who comes along, but fail to see the simplest rule of thumb it takes to just acknowledge the fact that you've found the right one.

I find revisiting these simple definitions rather meaningful, rather... liberating.

So What Happens Now?

Will I survive this?
I feel as if I've been cursed.
The past seems to always successfully haunt me. The way it is haunting me now.
If you ask me, I've thought hard enough. But what happens now?
The chances are bleak. So are the hopes. The future. The faith. The trust.
What is left remaining then, to strive for, to fight for?
It's just going to be a vain effort.
The misery is going to seep into the core of me so badly like poison, and it will never heal.
I have to cross my heart and say, I know this will eventually happen.

我很难受

我很难受。

我只能这样形容。

不想再说了。

A Boy And A Wolf

My horoscope for the day reads :
"Feeling more withdrawn, you're now either engrossed in the past or past mistakes contact you. There's no rush to do anything this week. Take time to follow your intuition, get in touch with your inner self and respect your dreams. Meditation could also help to calm old hurts."

It freaks the shit out of me sometimes, when horoscope readings can be so right & accurate.

I wonder how much more of this looks real to people.
I feel like I'm playing a role in a dramatic plot in the series.
You've heard of the story of a boy and a wolf.
Will I survive as the boy, if I'm yelling for the third time?
Will people still believe me?

If Only

If only there was a miracle,
If only there was no reality, no facts,
If only there was no difference in our current lives,
If only there was no distance,
If only our foundation was strong,
If only we were mutual,
If only we were compatible,
If only we complimented each other,
If only we'd not given up,
If only we'd made things right,
If only we'd loved each other enough,
If only we could turn back time,
If only things could be different,
If only all the if's don't have to exist... it would've been the most beautiful possible happy ending.

Of Stories In Songs

When I was going through bad times in the recent months...

如果你也听说 有没有想过我

像普通旧朋友 还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多

懂我的人就你一个

想到你想起我 胸口依然温热

**************************

When I was painfully missing you...

Hey 我真的好想你

太多的情绪 没适当的表情

最想说的话我(应)该从何说起

你是否也像我一样在想你

**************************

When I found some comfort & strength enough to let go...

与其让你在我怀中枯萎

宁愿你犯错后悔
让你飞向梦中的世界

留我独自伤悲

与其让你在我爱中憔悴

宁愿你受伤流泪
我非要你尝尽了苦悲

才懂真情可贵

*********************

When I felt sane enough to rationalize fate...

我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到酸了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能

*********************

When I thought of how we'd gone wrong...

又站在你家的门口我们重复沉默
这样子单方面的守候

还能多久

*********************

Of the times when I felt how impossible it is to let go...

你给的依靠 我放不掉

你给的微笑 还在嘴角

我的骄傲 是你的好

我想回报 你却转身走掉

*********************

Of the times when I wanted so much to see you, but did not...

有一種想見不敢見的傷痛 有一種愛還埋藏在我心中

我只能把你 放在我的心中

這一種想見不敢見的傷痛 讓我對你的思念越來越濃

我卻只能把你 把你放在我心中

對你的聲音 你的影 你的手

我發誓說我沒有忘記過

*********************

Of the times I needed words of encouragement to stay rational...

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手

你有自由走我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走

这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

*********************