Sunday, November 22, 2009

Indiscreet Blabbering

I'm curious.
Is there a way to delete some certain episode of memories?
Like, a drug, a medicine, an injection, or something... aside from the usually dramatic get-into-car-accident-and-lose-memory way. I scared later instead of losing memory I get paralysed or something... Don't want lor...

And no, I'm not suicidal.

It's not the best of wishes one could possibly be asking for.
But I want it, so badly.

How could this one person extensively equip me with so much pain, hurt, and hatred?

I'm not the most generous person when it comes to love.
If love is so selfless, then I'd be here, with open arms, welcoming, accepting, and forgiving.
But no, I'd rather love myself. And I chose to hate.

Hate, because I was a fool.
Hate, because I was blind.
Hate, because I know, I could've walked away, but I chose otherwise and faithfully believed.
And I said I chose. Because it was my choice, no one had pointed a gun at me asking me to make that option. So I alone was responsible for the choice I made.

I know it's a heavy declaration.
I just need an outlet. And I ought to be true to my heart when I say this.

But I promise myself I'll not lose myself.
No, not this time, not for this.

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